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Saturday, November 20, 2010

Baby Want A Cookie?

You bet. But no more cookies for me to eat, just to draw. There's no calories in a draw.

I spent the last two weeks hunting for black jeans and trousers three sizes bigger than the ones in my closet. It was painful. Where once I loved to shop, now I cringe at the thought. Womens pants are made for teeny-boppers who don't mind flashing flesh, cold breezes, low rises and seams that ride up their cracks. Today's pants also seem to be made for women who play basketball. No shorty here at five seven, everything I tried on shlepped on the floor; I needed stilts--a pair of those five inch stelletoes might do. Disgusted, I came home bagless three times. Then I found a pair I thought was okay, but my dressmaker sent me back to the store. She didn't like them-- not only way too long, but also too tight and too low waisted. "Stop looking at the size number, Linda. Start looking at the fit. You're older now get something that has a waistband and loops." The nerve of the woman!

It's hard to stop looking at the size number. All my life I looked at size numbers. Low numbers were better than high. While Tim Gunn assures us the sizes in clothing have indeed become meaningless ( some mnf. like to fools us ladies into thinking we're smaller than we are), I'm looking at numbers on the scale that are totally over the top for a gal with a bum knee. A bloomin' ass does nothing good for no cartilage, a shredded meniscus, a tumor, water-- and something coming off the patella too. That knee needs loving care and me pounds lighter.

Heavier than I was this time last year, it's hard to look at fit. I don't know that zoftig woman in the mirror with no waist, a belly and a caboose. I don't want to. I want the lady back with less volume, the one who had a waist, a flat tummy and wrinkles. My New Year's resolution made early before the holiday foods tempt, I'm spinning on my bike to the tip of South America and laying off the cookies--except for painting them. I might just paint the Thanksgiving Jello mold too; it wasn't on the menu at the first Thanksgiving, why ours?

Cavemen of Altamira hand me a stick of charcoal, I've got some magical goodies to add to the bison--right after my sitting with Peter Paul Rubens.

(Honey just called me obsessive when I read him this post. Obsession, in my book, is determination, total focus and dedication. Any thoughts on that)?


  1. Of course he would say u were obsessive.. I totally agree w/u.. BTW have u tried Ann Taylor Loft? I personally haven't shopped there but my daughter would buy clothes from that store for her business look... Hate to tell u this, but I am one of those that can wear those low rise jeans.. Size 0... yep... my way of eating and exercise has changed over the last 5 years...Not that I was trying to lose weight, it just happened.

  2. The cancer drug treatments can add between 10 and 25 pounds; I'm up 10 since the chemo and radiation 2008-9--but I've still got this pill to take for 3 1/2 years that gets rid of all the estrogen in my body but causes weight gain. Drugs, no estrogen, normally decreasing metabolism plus bum knee, and less exercise are behind my weight crisis.
    I'm lucky that I was a light weight when I got BC, so I'm not really a heavy weight by the world's definition, just mine. My doctors say to forget about it; I'm lucky to be here. My BMI (22) is still where it's supposed to be--and exercise really does very little for weight control, (from my experience that's true). It's just the gorgeous suede pants size 4 that don't fit and the added weight on a weak knee that irritates me.
    Meanwhile, I really have no wrinkles and look like I'm in my fifties. The bike and cutting out the feel-sorry-for-yourself foods will help.

    You should weigh less than me. I suspect you're shorter and smaller boned--from what I've seen of you in your pictures. I'm 5 feet seven, should weigh 132-35 and by golly will again. Yes, I am obsessive.

  3. U are 5'7"? omg, I thought u'd be smaller.. I'm 3 inches shorter.. Weight about 105 now... Weighed less before I started doing that new elliptical.. I am toned because of it so I can't complain... woman, u certainly DO NOT look your age.. U must of inherited those genes from your mom or dad.. A friend of mine had a mastectomy last year. She had cancer in one breast and decided to take out the other since it would of traveled to the good one.. She started her chemo then had the surgery.. She said she felt great, not what she had read about.. She had a top notch female surgeon from one of the better hospitals here.. She's a trooper and sounded great a few weeks after she had the surgery... Her husband told me, even tho he was told how she would be after the surgery, it still didn't prepare him... But he got thru her recovery, helped w/her dressings and both are back to doing their normal stuff.

  4. I thought the surgery was nothing. I also thought chemo was nothing. Radiation, while having it everyday for 30 days was nothing. What was something was after radiation and all the treated skin started to fall off from the burn. That was something very uncomfortable and went on for a while. Then there's some discomfort with the scar--itching. That was uncomfortable.

    They give you a pill to start as soon as radiation therapy is over. It depletes the estrogen in your body--a cancer causing hormone in post menopausal women. Femara or Arimidex are the latest. Themoxifin is for pre-menopausal women. A couple of side effects are weight gain and achy joints--arthritic stiffness. Eventually, the arthritic stiffness goes away. I had stage 2 breast cancer--due to the size of the lump in the left breast I think it was 1.5cm? The right breast had two tiny tumors (fractions of a cm) that could have been removed keeping the breast, but we thought get rid of it all.

    I was too thin to have reconstruction at the same time as the breast removal, (They take tissue from belly fat, which I didn't have). If I want reconstruction, I need a skin graft and implants. The process takes 8 months and is painful. I am not interested. I haven't minded life without breasts.

    Muscle weighs more than fat. So it's not unusual to gain weight when you train with free weights, which I do. But muscle is important because the more muscle the better your metabolism.

    I'll see what happens with this new biking regime I've started. On the elliptical, my knee (another health issue, went straight--that's bad. If I adjust the pedals so that the knee doesn't straighten, it would be okay. I haven't looked at the machine yet to see if I can put it into a incline position.

  5. Not sure about an incline option.. I just know u can up the tension.. As far as boobs, haven't had any since I nursed two kids.. The first one lost out since I had not a clue as to how to nurse her- rather my patience was short.

  6. Dear Linda,
    I love and admire your sense of humor that soften a tough content. I'm as tall as you. I, too, control weight not to damage knees. I have not touched Western sweets for nearly two decades or a tiny bite occasionally. I wondered why my bigger cloth number(some) and weight increase, but I look fit. Nurses gave me the answer like you, "Muscles are heavier. You've been tighten up." (?compliment? I wonder). But I'm worried about putting on weight. "Sadami, Japanese food!" nurses said. I went back to Japanese food--that's my weight controller. Japanese sweets are less calories than Western traditional confectioneries.
    Take care, Linda and enjoy food.
    Cheers, Sadami

  7. I think these low-rise slacks may be the cause of our economic downturn. I haven't bought new ones in about ten years--I'm waiting for some that come up to my waist, have pockets, and are normal length. I spent May going into stores and asking if they had black linen slacks, with pockets, to come up the the waist. When the answer was "no," I left the store. Luckily, black gets that nice burnished color as it ages.

    Enjoy your Thanksgiving, your wine, and your Jello mold.