Jewish Penicillin Couldn't Save Christmas

Jonas Salk has nothing to fear from me. Albert Einstein can  relax too.I couldn't figure out the formula for Jewish Penicillin to save my Honey's life or the holiday.

Poor baby came down with a full blown hacking cough, watery eyes, runny nose, chain sneezing cold three hours prior to Christmas Eve. I cancelled out on the Ersatz Christmas party, told the gang we'd miss them and hunted down the humidifier, the Vicks, the cough and cold expectorant, and got him in his jammies. Dinner was taken care of. We would have the chicken satay we picked up from the caterer as our offering at the party. Too bad it wasn't chicken soup with matzoh balls. It would have saved me a lot of aggravation.

Lemons aren't my dish either.

But I gave concocting the magical potion a really good try Christmas Day. Though I didn't have a stewing chicken, SIX CHICKEN FEET (WTF) and schmaltz in the house. I did't have any celery either. What I did have was Low Sodium Chicken Broth, a large carrot, one small onion, and some scallions (not celery) for color. But dump it all in the pot, bring it to a boil and voila! Something resembling chicken soup appeared. I threw in noodles to enhance the impression.

While the low cholesterol brew was steeping, I made matzoh balls for the first time in my life. I did have matzoh meal in the pantry. I use it in my hamburger mix instead of bread crumbs, don't ask. I didn't have chicken fat because I didn't have a fat chicken--only the skinny kind we nearly skinnies take to a party of skinnies. I did, however, have the phony kind cholesterol conscious people use to make chopped liver-- though I hadn't made chopped liver since the grandkids couldn't take a day off school to celebrate the high holy day of Rosh Hashanah. God Forbid they would miss a day for tradition. But that's another story.

The ersatz schmaltz worked. While watching the end of It's A Wonderful Life, the movie I found hidden in the video I used in my last post, I mushed up everything the Settlement House cook book said and dropped the little balls into the cauldron  The soup instantly looked  authentic. I was positive the potion would put Honey back on his feet. I immediately served it up.

But the sick guy pushed it away. "Too peppery," he growled and fell into a fit of coughing-- hopefully not his last.

These lemons were Scrooged too. While I hid in the studio, in between making the wrong color Jello, ( I like red, he said),  putting up a pot of tea and scalding my hand when the top fell off the tea pot,cleaning the kitchen nonetheless and taking out the trash, I was as sick of cooking on the easel as I was on the stove.

It was a wonderful life

These moments were not our finest.

The holiday may have been a curse rather than a blessing?

I am sharing my chagrin.

The Joy of the last 48 hours will take a while.

FOR YOUR RECORDS (and for real) :

The Mayo clinic advises the following treatment for mild burns:
     
     1) Put the affected area under cool (not cold) running water for 10 to  15 minutes.
      
     2) Bandage the area with sterile gauze (nothing cottony) very loosely.  Keeping air off the area will stop the pain, (it does), and stop the chance for blistering, (my fingers didn't).

     3) Take a couple Aleves or Ibuprofen just in case. 

      4) Do NOT but any butter or grease or egg whites or any old wives tales on it before bandaging. Those items cause infection in case the burn does blister and fester.  

I also advise taking a nap till the pain does subside. I did. It did. After all this treatment, my right hand was able to ruin those lemons quite expertly.